I’ve been married for 15 years. Our first date was on Valentine’s Day 1995. Yes, we were engaged 3 months later, and married the following the year in May.
I was young, he was young. I consider myself lucky to still be married because we hardly knew each other. It was a couple cows and a flock of sheep short of an arranged marriage…
But seriously, we didn’t know each other but we still decided to take the plunge and become man and wife. The wedding was simple, full of friends and family and lots and lots of white roses.
So how on earth have we made it to nearly our 16 year wedding anniversary still intact, still in one piece you ask?
Like REALLY hard work. Being married and living with the same person everyday is not easy. We change. We grow. And the key my friends, is growing together and not apart. Yes. That’s the key to a successful marriage. Growing TOGETHER.
Do you go on any?
Do you even know what one looks like? I didn’t for the first 13 years of my marriage to tell you the truth. And sometimes I still forget. And you know what? It DOESN’T have to be at NIGHT! Yep.
So this is what you do…
You pick a time (anytime, not necessarily at night) and a place and do something TOGETHER.
No kids. No other couples. Just you and him. Or you and her. And you be.
Talk about anything. I even say it’s okay to talk about the kids. A lot of ‘experts’ say not to talk about the kids, but if that’s all you have in common right now, then by all means TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS. Because eventually you will have more to talk about once you get the hang of spending time together. You will. Promise!
So do something together for at least an hour, if not 2. It can be dinner or lunch. Or even breakfast. No movies. You have to be able to talk. Talking is key to date night. So no movie.
If you don’t want to hang out and talk over a meal, then take a walk. Walk along a lake, river or the ocean. Walk in the woods or downtown. I even suggest trying to hold hands while walking.
As you start getting to know each other, you’ll actually realize you have things in common, things that you want to do together. For example, maybe you both realize you want to take a class at the local JC. That’s awesome! Plan it and sign up together. A little competition between each other is good. Or maybe you have a local roller rink and it’s been forever since you’ve been on roller skates. Rent some and hold hands as you do laps on the floor.
But above and beyond anything – just have fun enjoying each others company.
I hope this helps you. If it didn’t, I’m sorry. Maybe next time I’ll do better!
In the meantime, enjoy this photo from the day I was married…
And this is us now…Two kids and a little more grey hair later.